I went to McDonald’s the other day (because I was craving whatever addictive drug they put in their ketchup,) and had an eye-opening experience. The rest of you may have already been aware of what I am about to reveal, but it was new to me. I haven’t been to a McDonald’s for a long, long time.
Do you remember the Big Mac? Here I am probably talking to people over the age of 30. People who remember when the Big Mac was actually a Big Deal. And they filled the fry box to overflowing? It was worth the extra money back then because you got a lot of food, not a lot of bread.
The fucking abomination they sent home with me was like a bad joke. It was like eating a loaf of bread someone had rubbed a little salad dressing on.
I’m pretty sure I discovered Schrödinger’s patty. Until you observe it, it is neither there, nor not there. Once I moved the copious pile of lettuce to one side, I could literally see through the patties in places, which were probably pressed together out of shit they didn’t feel like sweeping up off the floor of a meat packing plant. Of course I’m joking folks, those patties probably never even met a cow. You could shave a hundred of these patties off a cow and she could go on to live a long and productive life with little or no notice.
The fries were hot, greasy, and saltily delicious (yeah, I made up a word, big deal, you wanna fight about it?) But up-sizing to get only 3/4 of a container made me feel like an asshole. It’s like they make the employees pay for the fries out of their paycheck. I took the picture before I removed any fries, that’s all of them. Yeah, let me get some of that greasy air you got floating around back there for an extra dollar Ronald.
I paid $7.29 for this “meal,” and it is not a mistake I will make again any time soon. Fuck You, Ronald McDonald, you clown!
On the positive side, the ketchup was good.