Fuck You Finger

It has been called many things; The Bird, The Finger, The One Finger Salute, and The Freeway Flip. Call it what you will, it means one thing…Fuck You!

Psychiatrists say that it symbolizes an aggressive phallus. I don’t know about that, but the gesture actually dates back to ancient roman times where it was called “the finger without shame,” or digitus impuducus for those of you who prefer Latin.

Nice.

Fuck You Google Chrome

Google, Google, Google, why hath my Chrome forsaken me?  Always my go to browser, and favored by a bajillion people around the world, Chrome appears to be the one for whom the bells tolls.

As mentioned in a previous post, the cold war for world domination between Microsoft and Google has taken it’s toll on innocent bystanders.  I have become collateral damage.  The screen fonts make me yearn for the clarity of the 8 bit days of old.  I might as well be using an amber monochrome monitor with a dot pitch that would allow me to safely fly a space shuttle between the pixels.  The one thing that could fix it in chrome://flags has been removed.

Also, what happened to the promised land of milk, honey, and speed.  Speed?  Jesus H. Christ on a donkey! I’ve shipped cargo containers faster.  And don’t talk to me about privacy;  I think we all know better.  Between Microsoft and Google, my web activities are better documented than J.F.K. assassination.

You should call it Google Chrap.  I am writing this particular rant using Firefox by Mozilla.  You have let me down, Chrome.  Fuck You.

Fuck You Bidnez Mens

One thing I really fucking hate is morons who go around saying they are business men.

Fortunately for everyone, I have written this brief guide on how to identify a real business man.

For one thing he knows how to pronounce and / or spell business.  For another thing he doesn’t feel compelled to go around telling anyone who will listen that he be a bidnez mens.  Also, he is not typically closely involved in the crack industry, and probably owns a suit.  A real suit that doesn’t make him look like Prince after a bad acid trip.  And he knows that the word men is pluralized already and doesn’t need an s on the end of it.

So you may be thinking, “Hey! Michael didn’t say anything about women, he’s a goddamned sexist.”  Well, quite honestly I have never heard any woman say anything this fucking stupid, and if you are thinking the sexist shit, then you obviously missed the goddamn point of my rant.  If this is the case, please log off, unplug your computer, throw it in the trash, and don’t ever come back to my site.  Fuck You.

Fuck You Microsoft

I have been a fan of Microsoft since I was a teenager (a million years ago in the 80s.)  I’ve used it, sold it, consulted on it, and provided technical support for it.  I have loved Microsoft like no other.

Now there’s Windows 10.  We have no choice about so many important things.  But the main thing I hate?  Mandatory updates.

Windows 10 Development Team

Every time this piece of shit updates, which I can’t stop, my system gets fucked up.  I can’t get online, it runs about half the speed of smell, or some other catastrophic bullshit, right when I need my computer most.  Oh yeah, I almost forgot;  Your cold war with Google for world domination has rendered my Google Chrome almost unusable.  The screen fonts look like they were drawn by a blind, retarded monkey using a melted crayon.  Hello Firefox!

I have had so many fucking problems with your unstable bullshit while working under time deadlines, I’m thinking about suing for psychological damages.

I have installed Linux Mint Cinnamon, and this is probably the last thing I will ever write on any Microsoft platform.

I feel betrayed after all of my years of loyalty.  Thanks for nothing Bill.  FUCK YOU!